Oy Vay

It seems like if it ain't one thing going on it is another. Last night after I blogged, it turned out that I dozed off for maybe 10 mins and I woke up to the sound of someone beside my bed standing over me, I opened my eyes and I seen my computer desk being pushed back away from the bed. I really freaked out, I turned over and covered my head. About an three hours ago the dogs and I were all hearing something, so I got the dogs riled up and the noises and stuff finally went away. All of the dogs were looking toward the same spot barking. Then not even 20 mins ago, I heard like a guy in the kitchen crying. I was like wtf. I want to turn on the recorder but at the same time, I am to afraid too. I just dunno anymore on what is going on. Anyways, I dunno what else to say.

Tripping

Well, so much has happened this week. Craig got two new jobs, and the one for walmart he had to turn down because he got his security job where he works 4 nights a week and is on call when they need him. I have been hearing and seeing a lot of things, and I am not the only one. The other night, I kept hearing a guy humming, I was in the bathroom when I first heard it and I just thought it was the radio because it is just on the other side of the wall from where I was. I asked Craig if it was him and he asked me what I was talking about, I told him nevermind. When I came back into the bedroom, I started to tell him what I had heard and I then heard it again. I asked him if he heard the man humming and he said no and asked me if I still heard it. I told him yes, but it was fading out. Then I looked toward the tv and plain as day seen a shadowy figure that looked like a man crouching down staring at me, I told Craig about it, but he said he don't remember me telling him that. Later on that night when I "fell asleep" I dreamed that I was wide awake and being choked. I could feel it clearly. I was even slipping in and out of consciousness. It was really tripping me out. Then I somehow woke up or came too and I noticed the figure wasn't there anymore and that only 30 mins had elapsed from when I closed my eyes, so who's to say I wasn't awake to begin with when all of this happened.

The next morning I got up and went to the bathroom and Craig asked me if I was ok. I told him yes, and asked him why, he said I heard a woman crying and thought it was you. I said it wasn't me. Not even 5 mins later, he said, Leslie, what are you laughing at? I said wtf are you talking about, I am not laughing at all, why would I be. I came into the bedroom and he said Leslie, I could have swore it was you, and he asked me if I was pulling his leg. I said no, I promise I am not pulling your leg. I said remember last night when I told you I heard a man humming and all that stuff, he said, no I don't remember that. So I told him.

Then tonight, I came to bed, it was hotter than hell in here to me and Craig was freezing to death. I swear I heard someone in the bathroom, so I looked that way and at the same time I looked at exactly 4:44am hubby's work clothes and the door moved like someone had ran into them walking in or out of the room. It really tripped the hell out of me. I asked Craig if he seen that, but of course he is sound asleep. I will end up telling him about it or him reading it tomorrow.

The dogs have been acting strange these last few days as well. I also found out Wed, that I have a staph infection and I have to be treated for it, so I am doing all of that crap. I have also been having episodes where I am blacking out or passing out. That has been basically going on since I came home from Texas. Tonight, I got all light headed and stuff and couldn't figure out for the life of me what is going on, so I took my bp (blood pressure) and it had dropped from abnormal to a normal bp. I was shocked and was wondering why in the world would I feel like I am going to pass out when my bp jumps from high to normal. I haven't smoked any cigs for damn near 3 weeks now. Everytime I think about them, I get sick, or nauseated. That is a good thing, as long as it keeps happening I won't start smoking again. I can't say I haven't craved them, but once I crave long enough and not follow through the sicker I feel. Neil told me the other day when he was over he wished that he could do like I did and just up and quit one day. I told him that I believe smoking was the cause of a lot of my problems.

I hope and pray that I get to hear from ss saying that I have been approved, I can really use the money right now, the way that I am behind on bills and all. They will only let me extend out for so long before they start  saying we have gave you enough breaks already. We have never went past an extension date as of yet. Anyways, time for me to go pee and then go to bed. Craig got off of work at 1 this morning and finally went to bed about 10 mins ago, so since this monitor is so big and bright, it is time for me to post and go to bed myself. I hope all has a great night/day!!! Good night everyone!!

Today so far.....

Well, Craig, got his call at 9 am for the security job. I am so excited for him!!!! I know he was really wanting it. 44 hrs a week you can't beat that. He likes it, so I am sure he will stick with it. :) He's finishing his paperwork and getting his uniforms. My back is still killing me from it popping, it feels like something is bulging out of my back. I went to go lay on my back earlier and it felt like my whole back was going to pop so I had to turn over. I am getting a little upset that my friend Taiera hasn't wrote me back yet. I dunno what is going on. I hope and pray that I didn't say something in the letter and make them say oh hell no, she can't get it.

I am about ready for tonight. Kim is staying the night with me tonight, hopefully no plans will change. I have banned the dogs from the bedroom because one of them pissed on my bed so I have to wash my bed sheets yet again. Craig is still broke out really bad from the Chuck E outfit. It seems like it is getting worse but then again it looks like it is getting better in some spots. I had the bright idea of dousing him in wintergreen alcohol last night and this morning. It has cleared up some, but hell some is better than what it was looking like. Anyways, I have sat up way to long, it is time for me to rest my back. Pain meds aren't even helping it right now which is really sucky. I will blog later.

Pains

I dunno what the f is going on with me lately. I have been hurting and it is like nothing will subside the pain and all day today my back has been popping in the upper part of my back, it hurt and felt good at the same time, well when hubby was in here about 1:30 am I barely moved and my lower back popped a little bit. It felt great. Well at 2 am, I decided to raise up and get on my computer and my back popped very loudly and badly. I had excruciating pain shooting down both hips and legs as well as my left arm has been tingling and then it just went down my left hip and leg and my left arm is tingling very badly and it still is and it is 2:24 am.

I told Craig that if it doesn't get any better I may have to go to the ER.  I am just noting this for future reference. I am going to try and get up and go to the potty and then I am going to try and get some sleep.

Going Crazy

So much has been going on in my life that it has been crazy. My dad and I got into it Friday night because he was canceling Mother's Day for us. I called him and we started arguing and stuff and he brought up that my sister and I act like nobody else has problems in their lives and bs like that and it really frustrated me. I know everyone has problems, some a lot worse than others. My dad acted like I was trying to get money or something from him, which I have only asked from him one time my entire life and that was to finish paying for my divorce from my second husband. I got school money finally and I paid all the bills and Craig got pissed off at me, because it gave me enough money to pay for my meds.

I would rather pay bills than do without electricity, phone, and internet. Craig should find out about this other job that he has tomorrow and hopefully he will hear about the one that he is supposed to have on the weekends. That would be so perfect for him to be working them. I hope and pray that I get my ss disability like asap. I really need it, because I want the heck out of here. I have been wanting to cut so bad lately. I have been so frigging stressed out it is pitiful. I haven't cut so I guess that is the plus about it. I had a cut on the back of my thigh that I knew nothing about and hubby pointed it out after I showered so we bought some medicated band aids to put over it that is latex free, well it was itching my like crazy and hubby took it off of me and it ripped the hell out of my skin so it bled like crazy which made me have to frigging doctor it up some more.

I should get my results tomorrow from my doctor appointment tomorrow, hopefully I am cleared so that I can reschedule my back surgery. I am ready to have it and get it over with. Well, since today is Mother's Day, my dad called me last night and said that the bbq was back on. I thought it was awesome then I found out my kids where back at their dads so I got to see them today as well. My day has been truly blessed and awesome. :) My niece and nephew was a riot and it was just frigging awesome watching all the kids play. My mom got to see what I have been talking about with my paralyzed foot and mom and dad and my sister got to see how it is when I just get unstable and almost fall. I felt bad because my dad started making fun of me saying the house didn't shift and that I did. I said I know, but my left leg gets so tired of doing all the work that it gives out and it almost puts me on the ground. Well, I guess that is enough about me blogging. I will blog tomorrow after I get my results and appointment. I hope everyone has a GREAT MOTHER'S DAY!!!