I am just so sick and tired of things that it isn't even funny anymore. I feel like I am constantly being used. I talk to my girl, Risa, and she is open and honest with me and I am happy about that. Not many people like to "tell it like it is" and I do that and I am happy that I have someone in my life to tell me the same thing. I hope she don't think I get mad at her when she tells me these things, because I def don't get mad at her at all.
I love Craig to death, but yet again nothing is changing. I asked him to do 1 simple thing, clean out the ferret cage, all he had to do was scoop the poop in a bag and add more litter, but nope, he couldn't even do that. He told me that he would do it tonight, but I ended up doing it yet again. I am tired of all the false promises from him and everyone else that gives them to me. I am just getting so sick and tired of being used and abused. I can't wait until I am able to get out and about by myself.
We were supposed to be getting a van from my friend, Sara, but no, she told me at 1 something this morning that it was already sold, so I am waiting to see if her story she told me pans out or not. I am not someone that can just be lied to, I hate when people think that they can lie to me and me not find out. I have already caught one "friend" lying to me and I won't put up with that shit any at all.
I sat in this fucking front room last night cleaning up trash out of the floor that Craig thinks is so funny that the dogs chew up. He doesn't do a damn thing around this house at all and I am so sick and tired of it. I have every right to complain. He had the balls to say one day, you used to keep a clean house, what happened? I flat out looked at him and said, you moved in. He has had his ass pampered and he is 31 years old, but I can't fucking take it anymore. DO SOMETHING AROUND THE HOUSE FOR FUCKING ONCE!!!! I am tired of the clutter and the smells. If it wasn't for me, we would have probably done been kicked out. I am slowly but surely getting things cleaned up, but my gosh, why does it have to be all me? He says he works, whoopie fucking doo!!!! You work part-time, what do you do the rest of the time? You sit at home playing your fucking game!!!!
I am fed up, fed up, fed up, fed up, fed up. I have so much shit that I am going through already, but I can only be stretched so much farther. I am not a maid, if I was I would be making some damn good money doing the shit that I do around here, instead of doing it for fucking free. There is fixing to be 3 people living in this place and I be damned if all 3 of us aren't going to pitch in and help keep this place clean. Neil done has been helping and at least he offers, but Craig on the other hand, sits back and hasn't even bothered.
In the last 2 days, I have almost fell 10 times, but I don't think really anyone cares but me. My spasms are getting worse and whatever I tell Craig goes through 1 ear and out the other, it doesn't stop any at all. I am actually tempted to pack some of my shit and leave for the weekend. I dunno where I will go, nor do I give a damn, as long as it is away from here. I have had so much on my mind and I can't think or remember some of the important shit that I was supposed to do. My life is going to stay fulfilled with fucking appointments after appointments after appointments, even after I get my SSI.
When I get my SSI, I dunno if I am going to buy me another vehicle or if I am going to buy me a house. I am not sure which one that I want to do. Either way, it is going to be in MY name. I am just at my witz end and I have so much shit going through my head that it isn't even funny. Anyways, I guess I will get off of here, it seems like everytime that I type something it turns into a friggin book. :)
