Ugh

I am getting so tired of this crap. Here it is 3:50 am and I am still awake for the umpteenth time. What drives me nuts, I feel asleep at 7 this morning and woke up at 8 so I had another 1 hr in 24 hours of sleep. Then I fell asleep at 10 pm and got woke up at 12:05 am. I am still up. This insomnia bs is driving me insane. No wonder why I have so many problems. I finally got my pain meds and thanks to my sister, if it wasnt for her, I wouldn't have them.

I love my sister to death, she really helps me out alot, me, not anyone else in my lil family, if the boys needs something she would be right on it to get them what they need if I am not able, but anyways. I have a pain med, spasm med, and a sleeping pill in me and I took them a lil after 2 am and I can't believe I am still awake. I can't wait till Friday. I am going to stay with my folks and have my kids. I am doing this, because for one my parents ain't seen me since Christmas and for two my boys will both come at least since I am closer to their daddy. Josh would come regardless but Xavier is more likely to come. I can't believe the news I heard today. Here is the e-mail: 

Ok, the dr said that josh’s lazy eye hasn’t improved at all.  And that if something isn’t done soon, in the next year or so, that chances of it improving are almost none at all.    He said that josh’s eye trying to straiten up is straining so much, that it can’t strain to straiten and focus at the same time.  If he was to have surgery, it would straiten the eye, and then all the strain would be on focusing.   He said that reason for glasses was that josh’s bad eye strained so much, that he didn’t want the good eye to strain at all.   He said josh needed glasses for far-sightedness, but that has improved to the point he doesn’t need glasses. 

 

He said no guarantee surgeon would even want to do surgery, but if he did, that it would more than likely help josh’s lazy eye to focus and improve his vision, even though is lazy eye will never be as good as his good eye.    He said josh’s vision right now in his lazy eye is at 20/220.

 

He said it may be 2 or 3 weeks before he can see josh, and he would call when they got an appointment.

 

Xavier is going to have to have glasses too, because he has a stigmatisim. I figured the boys would have to wear glasses, because me and their daddy both wear them and have since we were young. I don't wear mine anymore unless I am reading a lot or driving. I can't really drive, but I do every now and then. Oh yeah, I got to meet Risa today and her kids and husband. I went with all of them to the UAMS in Little Rock. I had a blast. I thought my kids asked a lot of questions, but Ellie puts my boys to shame. She is a sweetie though. Risa is awesome and I can't wait till we get to hang out more. Her and I need to get together whenever we have the money and have a girls night out or day out, it would be awesome. Anyways, I think my pill is finally kicking in. I will type more today sometime or tomorrow. Hope all have a good day or great night. Bye all.

Sighs

Damn, let me go for some big font this time, maybe someone can read it better. lol. I have had a damn sneezing fit and it has been driving me nuts. I finally got 6 hrs of sleep after being up for 24 hours. Now here it is at 2:43 am on January 19, 2011 and I am awake. I am glad I own a laptop because I have been going here and there with my computer. I just couldn't get still. I got pissed at the doctors office because they haven't called in my pain meds as of yet and it is driving me insane!!! I don't like hurting or spasming, but at least my spasm meds is knocking off alot of the unnecessary pain that is a constant pain from the spasm.

Hubby believes his interview went well today, and as long as I sat out in the car, I hope that he gets it. Today had actually been a good day up until our dog, Starr, started barking up a storm so she could go out. I was ready to kill her, because she wouldn't take NO as an answer. It wouldn't be so bad if she would do her business and come back in, but she has to roam the trailer park and see what all she is going to get into. She has to bark at the neighborhood dogs and chase the cats and just everything to that nature and it gets really irritating. I took my psych meds, so I should be getting calmer here in a few mins. I am glad that I don't have these fits with my kids, that would drive them and I crazy. I try to take my meds at least a day in advance to keep from wanting to scream at them. This is an updated picture of me from this morning. Hubby put more blue in my hair as well. :)

Well, I guess I have done my therapy session for the day. Lol.

Lalalala

Well, here I am. I am about to friggin go crazy. It is 6:17 am and I have no been to sleep as of yet. I guess I am just so excited about hubby's job interview that I can't really sleep at all. I really really really want to sleep, but I am just so excited and have a great feeling about his interview, that I just can't sleep. I am going to be like this tonight too if I don't get any sleep, because tomorrow I am getting to meet Risa. Risa, is a good friend of mine. Her and I have never met, but we haven't went one day without talking as of yet. I really like her and she is awesome.

I just wish that she lived closer, a lot closer, but oh well, shit happens for a reason. On to a new subject. Hubby has a job interview at Lowe's for a Management position. His interview is at 9:15 and I am hoping and praying that he gets it. I have a feeling also that here pretty soon, I am fixing to come into a little bit of money. I really think I am going to get my disability, but I am not sure, but I am really praying that I get it and I do have a really good feeling about it. I know God will grant me this. I didn't have any good feelings about last time that I applied, but I have a really good feeling about this time. If I got my disability, hubby and I wouldn't have to worry about any bills at all really. My check would pay rent plus more than half of the utility bills.

That is something that I worry about alot. Bills and rent. If we can't pay rent we are evicted and hubby and I have nowhere to go. This place is on a down slope, but this trailer is getting to be like home. It is a roof over our head. We have a great freaking landlord, we are in a quiet park where you don't have to worry about any noise. The only noise that you hear is the dogs barking at each other or someone they don't know. When it gets a little bit warmer, there is a few things that I am wanting to do outside. I am getting a little better at walking even though the feeling isn't coming back. I also done some research on gynocologists and on urologists. I dunno which one I need to contact first, but I will figure that out. I have to find out how much the first visit will be. I hope I get my school money before the 27th, because I have a therapy appointment that I really need to go to.

I mean typing my feelings and stuff out really helps me out alot and it keeps me from snapping at hubby. I am getting a little bit better at all of this. BTW, if you see any ads, click on them and just check them out, there are alot of interesting things. Anyways, I guess I have typed enough, I am going to get on facebook and play around on baking life for a little while. Hope everyone has a great night/day. :) I know I probably will.