Well, this is going to be a fun filled month for me, not!!!! I had my therapy appointment which helped me out quite a lot and my assignment I have to do is for my thinking process which has to be done by the 5th of May. I may schedule me and appointment before then, because I found out today that I have to have back surgery again. My back surgery is scheduled for the 27th. I scheduled it for 3 weeks from Wed, due to the fact, I have a few cuts and stuff that I am wanting to heal up.
I cut my wrists a few days ago. I haven't cut in awhile, but I just got so overwhelmed with things that I just really wanted that pain to go away. I tried talking to Neil, but he put the headphones on and started listening to music and tuned me out and I called Craig to try and talk to him, and he said he didn't feel like talking on the phone because he was tired. I felt so overwhelmed, but nobody realized that I really tried. I haven't cut in awhile, but I just couldn't help it at all.
Not many people know that I am a cutter and that is an addiction to me, but unless they have been there, they will never know how it is. I have really been trying not to cut or anything, but it was just one of those times that I just couldn't keep from it. Today has been a hectic day due to the fact of finding out that I have to have back surgery again in the exact same place as before. He may make the incision bigger or longer, but I dunno yet until it gets done.
Hopefully now I will definently get my disability. This is my 2nd back surgery in 7 months. It is very crazy to find this shit out. Anyways, I may have to make another appointment with my therapist before hand, but I dunno really. Anyways, enough venting for now. I am about to go to bed. Bye for now.
